For our Love Language tests, my primary love language is quality time.
We were given two test questionnaires. One is a love language test for romantic love while the other is for love language in relation to our families especially our parents.
For the romantic love language, I am bilingual. I scored highest equally in quality time and physical touch. I think this also applies to friends because I am also very affectionate to my friends physically. I am not one to be bothered by casual hugs and harmless touches. Although I do notice that I am becoming more aloof these days and I tend to get startled when people hug me like they used to. I also value quality time with my friends very much. I spend hours and hours talking to my closest friends about nothing.
My lowest score is receiving gifts. Maybe it's because the questionnaire was set in the romantic context. I don't really like being showered with expensive gifts by suitors or whatever one would call their romantic interests. It makes me feel as if I am being bought when the person gives gifts of great monetary value. Although it is okay with me if I know that they worked hard for it and it has a lot of meaning to it. I would rather that I am the one who gives gifts.
This reminds me of an article that I have read that says people tend to like a person more when he or she feels that a person is indebted to them (e.g. they did the person a favor or gave them an expensive gift). Maybe this theory is working on me in that way.
For the love language in relation to parents, I scored highest in quality time. I think this is because quality time is what I lack the most from my parents. I am living away from them and therefore we don't get to spend so much time together. But I feel that even if I were always with them, this would still be my primary language in general.
There are several instances that come to my mind because of this test. It somehow explains to me my reaction towards people and our relationships.
When I was a child, I lived with my aunts and I only get to spend a few days or weeks with my parents when there was no school. I remember pretending to sleep while we were on our way back to Manila because I didn't want to let them see that I was crying. I didn't understand back then why I was crying but I understand now. I missed my parents and I wanted more time with them.
This again happened in college. I was sick and my mother so happened to be in Manila but she didn't have the time to drop by. I felt so bad that time. It actually amounted to a part of my depression at that time (adding to the fact that I felt really ugly and unwanted because of the chickenpox).
The other time was when my father dropped by but didn't wake me up. I cried when I woke up because I haven't gone home for about a month he just passes by without waking me up. I was cranky the whole day.
To my friends, I am also the same way. I have this very close friend who I spent a lot of time with when I am in Manila. A year back, I was in AWOL for a semester and I stayed in Tarlac for seven months. During that time, I didn't get to see my friend and our plan to celebrate our birthdays together was cancelled. Needless to say, I was really sad but I didn't notice it since I was with my family. When I finally got back to fix my papers for readmission, we met for about an hour. He just got off work and I was about to take the bus back to the province. I was really happy to see him again and that he is sending me off at the bus station. It was when the bus started moving that I also started tearing up uncontrollably because I apparently missed my friend more that I thought.
In conclusion, now that I know that there are different languages of love and mine so happened to be quality time, I shall try to be more understanding of people around me whose love language is different from mine. I would also try to learn the other love languages to communicate better to others. Aside from that, I think it is also a good idea to let them know my love language and know theirs too.
That being said, I shall give my friends the love language test too.
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